16 . 04 . 2014

Ten Women I Have Been Warned Against Becoming:

1. The Girl Who Takes Up Too Much Space, always, her shoulders too wide in stairwells, her hips too big in doorways, her voice too loud in classes. This woman does not understand the art of crumbling, of curling herself tight like the spiral of a fern, soft, delicate, unwilling to reach out the ivy of her fingers to grasp onto what should rightfully be hers. This is a beast, an elephant, a moving mountain and she is capable of flattening you, she is capable of ruining you, she is capable of making you feel as small and insignificant in her life as she is supposed to be. You are this woman’s footnote to history, you are her side note in song lyrics, you are constantly interrupted by her with a witty joke you wish you thought of. I asked what the problem was with being a steamroller instead of a sunflower and I was laughed down.

2. The Beautiful One, the long hair or the slim waist or the pretty eyes or the lips like bowstrings. This woman looks good in everything because she’s confident in whatever you put her in. She’ll cut her hair short on you no matter how you like it, she’ll wear high heels and step on your opinions, she’ll look hot as hell no matter what size she is. See, the reason you can’t trust her is because women like this don’t need your permission, they’ll do as they please and get away with it. They’ll say no to you, over and over. Teach your daughters that beautiful means dangerous, teach them to distrust women who love themselves. Equate beautiful with vapid, equate pretty with stupid, take their power from them. Say they’re vain for their makeup, refuse to see them without it. These women are snakes, they are serpents. I said maybe the problem lies with you being unable to control yourself and was told to get off my pedestal.

3. A Bitch. Women are supposed to be ladies in the street but will tear skin under sheets. I’m told: Never raise your voice. Speak gently. Submit. Hold your opinion against your lips and when you admit to it, make sure it comes out as a butterfly wing suggestion. Don’t disagree. Don’t undermine someone else’s authority, regardless of whether or not they deserve your respect. Someone touches you, just move away from them. Don’t hit. Don’t talk back. Be like the ruins of Rome, only beautiful if you can’t hear your quiet death.

4. The Needy One. I have heard how others spit when they talk about how she gave you everything and you shoved it back down her throat until she choked on it, until she came back crawling and asked you what she did, until her palms and knees were scraped for want of just a little affection - never be this woman, I’m told, because she’s a joke and the joke is that she dared to have more emotion than you did. The truth is, I’m told, the one who cares less in a partnership is the one who wins. I didn’t know this was a competition.

5. The Cock Tease, certified stripper, how dare that girl look like that and not want me to sleep with her. Lust is always personified as a lady in red with a dress slit up her thigh. Lust is sinful because it’s power, it’s not asking for attention - it’s demanding it. I’m told she is the worst kind of woman, that looking good is supposed to be some kind of shame on her kin. I’m told not to leave the house in such a short skirt, not with a shirt so low, not with a lace back, not with high heels, not dressed like that. My lipstick can’t be too red, my hair can’t be too mussed, I can’t just “turn someone on like that and then leave them wanting.” I mentioned that instant gratification actually ruins our psyche and was told that being led on was “exhausting.” I said that there was a difference between purposefully tricking someone into liking you and just being attractive or friendly. I was told there’s also a difference between coffee and tea but both result in caffeine. I said, “I’ve been turned on in class by the girls I talk to but I didn’t expect anything from them,” and they said, “It’s different, you’re not a man,” but couldn’t explain where that difference was.

6. A Slut, obviously ruined by another person’s touch. It doesn’t matter how many people she’s actually been with, it’s all about the rumors she carries with her. Easy. Harlot. You’ll still try to get with her, you’ll still take her into your bed and kiss her and say things you don’t mean - but you’ll defame her name when you talk to your buddies. My father used to say “A slut is fine for the night, but the virgin is who you take home and marry.” Maybe he didn’t know he was teaching his daughter to hate her sexuality. Maybe he didn’t know that every time she’d be kissed, her whole system would shake until she felt ready to combust, shame and self-hatred shivering against her spine. Maybe he didn’t know she’d disconnect emotions and sex because he always told her, “Boys are different, they won’t care about you.” Nobody said to her that it was okay to experiment. See, the funny thing is, I’m a dancer so I know exactly where my center of gravity is. I know how hard I’ll fall in each direction. Yet out of fear of getting hurt, I won’t let a single person inside of my bed.

7. The Soulmate. Never love romance more than you love being cynical. Never show weakness, never like pink, never think maybe you might find someone nice and settle down with them. Someone will find you, I was told, And if you’re lucky, he’ll put up with you when you start getting old. Never be the woman who believes in happily ever after, never be dumb enough to think maybe someone could love you after all of your mistakes. It has nothing to do with whether or not a family is important to you and you’re in a good place where a relationship would make your life better - you’re not a princess. You don’t get married, you settle.

8. The Girl With Strength, who can outrun everyone and who is stronger than her boyfriend. “See the thing about boys,” says my daddy, “Is that you have to let them win.” I sat at home and read stories about Artemis and wanted to become the huntress, too. I wanted to howl at the moon, I wanted to slay the beasts that bested me, I wanted to rule my kingdom with bloody fists. But girls are never athletes, never supposed to be “built,” regardless of the fact civilizations were constructed on our spines and we made homes in war by the steel of our ribs. Never be strong. We are supposed to wilt.

9. The Lady CEO: because if you choose work over family, are you really a girl? How dare you fight your way to the top through every pair of eyes that bore through your blouse, through every meeting where you were hushed by the sound of someone else talking, through every time someone called you “sweetie,” how dare you yearn for something. Is your husband the stay-at-home one? I can’t imagine how that is going. He’s not a real man, after all. I don’t give it long before the divorce. How dare you decide you’re happy being single. Don’t you know you’re supposed to bear children. Where is your honor? Where is your wisdom? Who cares if you are the leader, the best suited for your position, the quickest-thinking, the one who makes the hardest clients come back again. Don’t you see? Across history, women have been terrible at success. They always lose their man in the end. (When I said, “I would rather be a famous author than a mediocre mother,” I was told, “No, don’t worry, you’ll be a fine mommy.”)

10. THE GIRL I AM: FIRECRACKER AND DON’T YOU FUCKING FORGET IT I’LL RIP YOU TO SHREDS AND I WON’T FUCKING REGRET IT I’M NOT YOUR PRETTY GIRL I’M NOT YOUR ANYTHING I’M PERFECT, MOTHERFUCKER, AND I’M NOT GOING TO GIVE UP WHAT I’M DOING. I DON’T WANT TO BE “LADYLIKE” THAT LITERALLY MEANS NOTHING I’M NOT GOING TO STOP STANDING UP AND DEMANDING WHAT’S COMING TO ME. I’M GONNA BE SOMEBODY. I’M GONNA MAKE THEM REMEMBER ME. I REFUSE TO BE OVERSHADOWED IN HISTORY. I DON’T KNOW WHAT YOU WERE TRYING TO CREATE BUT YOU MADE ME A DRAGON YOU PUT ME IN THE FIRE AND WHEN I STOPPED BURNING I LEARNED HOW TO GLOW DON’T THINK YOU CAN STOP ME YOU CAN’T TAME A TORNADO.

- In respectful response to a poem tilted, “Ten men women have warned me against becoming." /// r.i.d (via inkskinned)
5 minutes ago

Reblog if it is 104% okay to come to your ask and just say ‘Hi can we be friends and then start asking you random questions.

(Source: jagkcitybitch)

34 minutes ago

stillsuperdom:

howimetmamamosby:

Neil Patrick Harris and Jason Segel sing Confrontation - Inside the Actor’s Studio March 27 2014

They are awesome

THEY FUCKING DID IT! The whole thing! Finally’

(Source: lasertagandcigars)

1 hour ago
Imagine that Steve, after waking up, drew Bucky all the time, anywhere he could- napkins, documents, notebooks- because he never wanted to risk forgetting that face. He has an entire drawer in his flat, crammed with books full of these drawings. One day, Bucky opens the drawer.

imaginebucky:

 he sees how much love steve put into those drawings - steve always did see the best parts of him, and these are drawn with the attention to detail that told bucky steve paid attention to him, to what made him smile, to the way  he laughed, to the way he looked when he thought steve wasn’t looking. it makes him nostalgic; steve obviously loved him as he was, but he isn’t that laughing young man anymore.

when steve gets home, he offers nervously that he could pose for steve, like he used to when they lived in brooklyn, if steve wanted to draw him…for a second he regrets it, but steve’s face lights up and before he knows it he’s seated across the room while steve is sketching intently.

the drawing he produces has just as much love in it as the others; steve hasn’t shied away from  his scars or his arm or the haunted look that he can’t shake out of his eyes these days, but it’s soft and warm and he’s seeing himself as steve sees him and he can’t find any words for it, any words at all.

1 hour ago

flansjohnburgh:

theantigovernor:

flansjohnburgh:

what does html stand for?

hypertext markup language

no i mean like, what does it believe in?

1 hour ago

animecommunist:

warashiyama:

animecommunist:

i’ve had an idea, instead of calling things “problematic”, why don’t we just call them “reddit” instead, as in “oh my dad’s being really reddit today”

i wont do either

image

1 hour ago

debigotizer:

permutationofninjas:

debigotizer:

Your Very Bad Post has been read and graded. You can find your grade here.

It’s unfortunate that Debigotizer chose to format her response the way she did; it made responding to it much more inconvenient than it should have been.  This is actually a big part of what took us so long to get back to it.  Other factors include her brushing off a previous critique of ours that did not require gratuitous amounts of copy-pasting, the fact that we don’t expect them to actually listen to any responses anyway, and the fact that her post was in the end irrelevant to ours.

[cut for length; read in the link - debigotizer]

Your Somehow Worse Response has been read and commented on. You can find my comments here.

Note: The document is basically a three-part conversation. The parts labeled “OP” are from PoN’s original post, those labeled “debigotizer” are my comments from the first debigotization, and those labeled “PoN” are PoN’s responses to my comments.

Never in my life have I read a more structurally convoluted and scattered thought process that ultimately amounts to “no YOU!!!" than PermutationofNinja’s response.

Truly extraordinary.

1 hour ago

writing tip #804:

gr8writingtips:

it’s a metaphor; you put your fingers on the keys but you don’t actually do any writing

1 hour ago

umnachtung:

quillusquillus:

eowyner:

do german snakes go ßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßß

to be honest swiss don’t use ß when writing german so I automatically read that as a raspberry noise

image

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